Science has proven that:
- Humans have auras
- Humans have organs that sense energy
- We inherit memories from our anscestors
- Meditation repairs telomeres in DNA, which slows the process of aging.
- Compassion extends life
- Love is more than just an emotion
- Billions of other universes exist
- Meditation speeds healing
October 1, 2014
I honestly suck at life like so much. So I started my first year of college and I am honestly just sucking ass at this whole “college experience”. Within the first week I managed to get into drama concerning my neighbors because they do not comprehend my humour. It took a whole week for them to finally forgive me and realize that I am in fact just a very sarcastic person but oh well, what can you do? The worst thing that has occurred this week though is when I got high for the first time. I ended getting cross-faded the wrong way and I was just a mess. I had an anxiety attack while I was high which led me to just start uncontrollably sobbing while at a kickback. I did other things I rather not talk about but the worst thing that I did was that I relapsed. What I put my friend through that night is something that no one should ever have to deal with. I traumatized her and ruined her whole night. What I did was just completely unacceptable and there is no way that I can make that up to her. She claims that it’s okay and that shit like that happens to everyone but no what I did was just wrong.
Everyone has already started picking on me as usual since, I’ll admit, I tend to come off very strongly. Every time I try to make friends it just always results in a “love/hate relationship” and it honestly sucks but I can’t really complain when it is all my fault. My friend is having the time of her life going to parties meeting new people and just in general getting along with every one. I can tell that my roommate wishes that she was dorming with her as opposed to me; I don’t blame her though. I’m not interesting, I’m not funny, and I’m not outgoing nor pretty. All I am is stupid, annoying, fat, ugly and depressed. Everyone pities me and shit I even pity myself. At a kickback that I went to with my friend everyone was getting along with her while I was literally just standing there being a fucking waste of space. Maybe if I talk less, stop being sarcastic, and just stop trying to be funny then maybe just maybe people will like me; hey if they can learn to at least like me then maybe they’ll be able to see past my hideous exterior.
I fucked up today by offending this guy. I didn’t mean to at all but as usually I never know when to stop. I’m just fucking embarrassing. I can’t get over what I put my friend through just hearing her voice tremble and tell me that she’s freaking out and then today at the fucking mall telling her how I felt when I know that she doesn’t care at all, like what the fuck are you doing?? You tell people all this shit that no one cares about and why? Does it make you feel better? No, at the end of the day you just feel worthless and pathetic so why do you keep doing this to yourself? I honestly just need to learn to hide my emotions, stop fucking talking, stop fucking eating, and most of all just stop being a waste of space; maybe then people will like me better. Maybe then I’ll finally like myself too.
ppl always ask me “”what are you going to do with your degree”“ and “"if you wanna get a PHD how do you plan on paying for it"" and ""where are you gonna move after college"" but here is the thing:
i am very powerful and cute and im gonna float through this world one day at a time. please leave me alone.